


Whiskey and Tea

by SoonerOrLater



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Relationship Development, meet the parents, post episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:40:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26127409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoonerOrLater/pseuds/SoonerOrLater
Summary: A series of 'missing scenes' from 'Meet the Parents' as the Roses (and Stevie) rally round to make sure David and Patrick get to the end of the day. Sometimes with whiskey, sometimes with tea.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 52
Kudos: 145





	1. Not The Moments You Dream About

David set the cup of hot tea down on Patrick’s coffee table, but he picked it up straight away and wrapped his hands around it as if clinging onto something. Neither of them had spoken for some time. David understood Patrick’s occasional need for silence to work through things. And he had, at this point actually run out of things to say. So he’d made tea. It had become something of an unspoken language between them anyway. Whenever David messed up at the Store, he went out for tea. If he thought Patrick was angry at him, tea. If he’d been particularly dramatic. Tea. He wasn’t sure ‘accidentally invited your parents and outed you on your Birthday’ was a bit beyond tea, but it was worth a shot. 

‘I should get back to the store’ David said fidgeting as he stood over Patrick. He felt like he shouldn’t go, but he also had to go. He’d left Alexis in charge, and if he could convince her to stay a bit longer he had a plan to try and make things more right. Or at least a bit right. But as far as Patrick knew they were just closed for lunch, and he didn’t want to add ‘losing an afternoon’s business’ to the list of things going wrong today. 

‘Yeah. I guess you should’ Patrick was staring into the distance ahead of him, not up at David. 

‘I’ll leave the pizza, in case you get hungry’ David tried. 

‘Yeah. Sure.’ Patrick said more to his tea than anything. He took a sip, it was really hot but it at least shocked his brain into focus a bit. 

David hesitated a moment longer. He wanted to stay, but there wasn’t much more he could do. Patrick had to work things through in his own head. And if he was honest, so did David. He reached down and wrapped his arms around Patrick’s shoulders gently, trying not to spill tea. Patrick didn’t move or respond. ‘It’ll be ok.’ David said, willing himself to believe it too. ‘I love you.’ he kissed the top of Patrick’s head. 

‘Love you’ Patrick managed to pull his head up to look at David. They nodded at each other and David left, clicking the door shut softly behind him. Patrick pulled his knees up onto the sofa and pulled his tea close to him. It wasn’t remotely cold but the comfort of it was useful. 

How had he managed to end up here? He knew reflecting on where your life had taken you on your Birthday was a recipe for disaster, but here we were. Ten years ago he’d been finishing college and playing happy couples with Rachel at a B&B. Five years ago he’d been single and contemplating staying that way. Three years ago he’d been newly engaged and making the best of being as happy as he thought he could be. Two years ago he’d been trying to leave for six months. Last year he had left, and he’d just met the most incredible man he’d ever known. And now...he wasn’t sure. 

His life had never been better. He should be showing off his life to his parents. In a way he had been- in his phone calls he hadn’t lied about much. The Store he was so proud of. He told them every detail of it. He told them all about the town, and the Roses featured heavily in that (secretly his Mom was a soap opera fan, who was utterly thrilled to hear about his adventures with Moira Rose). He told them all about Cabaret rehearsals and they were thrilled he was singing again. And slightly amused at the thought of him dancing. He’d told them about the open mic night. But he’d left out one crucial detail. He told them about Baseball, and even David’s ridiculous Home Run...but left out the bit where they went home together. He never outright lied, but he always kept something of the truth back. 

Which was just as bad he realised. 

For the longest time he hadn’t had the words for it. That was his excuse. Still today had been the first time he’d used the word even to David. 

‘Gay’ 

There was a difference between knowing it, and naming it. And for the longest time he hadn’t even known it. 

And when he did, he didn’t know if he had the right words for it. What the right labels were. To explain it to himself never mind anyone else. Labels didn’t matter to David. So it had remained unspoken. Or maybe not, maybe David was just waiting for him. Letting him take the lead, as he’d been so good at. Allowing Patrick to say when he was ready. 

Patrick knew he’d pushed that trust too far. Allowing David to believe his parents knew. Much like the way he’d let David seep into his parents consciousness, just not fully, he’d done the same with his parents. He’d let them ring the store, allowed David to happily chat away. Anything David mentioned about them doing things outside the store were easily explained away on his parents end as Patrick having a great friend and business partner. On David’s end he was happily sharing their lives together with the boyfriend’s parents he’d yet to meet, but who loved to chat to him about hand cream or monthly sales as much as what movie they’d seen. Patrick briefly wondered if his parents ever questioned just how many romcoms he was seeing, but also they probably just assumed Schitt's Creek wasn't the height of sophistication when it came to movie choices. 

He always knew this was going to be hard. For the longest time he’d managed to ignore it. Safe in the bubble of his new life. Then Rachel had arrived, and he’d had to beg her to keep it to herself. Then things had gotten good, really good. So good he didn’t want to risk it. They were good people he knew, but he also felt like the bottom had just fallen out of his world. 

And on top of it all he knew he had hurt David. And that scared him as much as telling his parents. 

He looked down at this tea in his hand and remembered teasing David, the day they’d said ‘I love you.’ something he’d been feeling, and fighting feeling for so long. ‘The kind of moment you dream about’ he’d said. He’d been dreaming of this moment for so long, replaying it over and over in different ways. You grew up being told to dream of the things he had with Rachel. Of telling his Mom about them, about telling his Mom they were engaged. Even telling her the engagement was off was, if not ok, something in his frame of reference. He had the words for it. He had the understanding. He hadn’t grown up expecting to tell his Mom any of this. 

He wasn’t sure he was ready. And in that moment as much as he loved David, with everything he had. He started to cry at the injustice of it all. Why did loving someone, feeling so right, have to come with all this? He didn’t resent one second of what they had. But he couldn’t stop it being the furthest thing from what you dream about. 

He hugged his mug close and let the tears fall. A little moment of this, then he could get up and take action. He promised himself. Just a little while longer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, in order to hold it together, you have to fall apart.
> 
> After meeting the Brewers, David and Johnny take a moment. While Stevie steps up to Best Friend Mode.

David leaned hard against the side of the motel and sighed. Well that had gone...well? Maybe? 

‘Come on’ His Dad said, nudging him gently off the wall. 

‘What?’ David said his head still inside room 5 and at the Cafe and in Patrick’s flat all and once. 

‘You can’t stay there, they’re right inside. Come into the office’ Johnny steered David off the wall and down the path a little more until he was walking voluntarily. It had gone ok with the Brewer’s but he sensed David needed a moment. Stevie emerged from the back office as they came inside carrying a mug of tea.

David threw himself down on the battered sofa with a sigh and a moan rolled into one. Stevie and Johnny stood over him. 

‘Here’ Stevie said, holding out the mug. ‘Tea. For a crisis’

‘Have you turned British on me?’ David asked taking the hot mug, ‘You could have at least spiked it with whiskey’ he took a large slurp and nearly choked ‘Oh, oh you did. Well done.’

‘Not my first accidental outing of a boyfriend.’ Stevie said in a tone that was impossible to read, and entirely possibly sincere. She sat on the table in front of him while Johnny continued to hover behind. David took two more sips then handed the mug to his Dad. ‘Here’ he said ‘You look like you could use some too’

Johnny hesitated. 

‘It’s like 50% whiskey Mr Rose.’ Stevie said ‘I’d take it’

Johnny quirked an eyebrow then took it. Taking an equally large slurp, and also nearly choking. ‘You weren’t exaggerating Stevie’ he said sitting down next to David. 

‘So how was it?’ Stevie asked. 

David groaned and flopped back against the sofa. 

‘It’s fine.’ Johnny said. ‘It’ll be...fine’ 

‘You don’t know that. It could all go horribly wrong still. This could be the biggest disaster ever there could be fighting and tears and appetizers thrown.’ he had visions of flying Crab Cakes. 

Johnny wordlessly handed Stevie the mug, who took a slug herself then handed it to David. 

‘This is just a bit intense’ he said screwing his face up.

‘What happened when you spoke to him?’ Stevie asked, for once sincerity clear. ‘He’s ok, I mean you two are ok right?’

David exhaled, and looked down. In the adrenaline of coming to Patrick’s parents, he’d managed to block the earlier conversation out a bit. It came flooding back. A combination of the hurt he’d felt realizing that Patrick hadn’t told them about him and the hurt he saw in Patrick caught in his chest and tears spiked in his eyes again. He wiped at his face angrily and took a swig of tea. 

‘David.’ his Dad said sitting down at the other end of the sofa. ‘It’s going to be ok. You heard his Mom and Dad, it’ll be fine.’

‘It’s not them.’ he managed eventually. He looked up at Stevie. He couldn’t face his Dad in this second, it felt like another failure to add to an impressive list. Stevie would get it. ‘He didn’t tell them about me. And I know why. I guess I just…’ he sipped the tea. ‘You know this really isn’t working anymore.’ 

Stevie got up, leaned over the desk, and pulled out the bottle of whiskey. And a selection of glasses. ‘I was prepared.’ 

David took the bottle and filled a glass downing it. Stevie passed a glass to Johnny who waved it away. 

‘What happened David?’ he asked, taking the glass off him before he could get too drunk and possibly make this day a lot worse. David had changed but letting him get drunk before 2pm on a day things were already spinning out of control seemed like inviting trouble. Luckily David didn’t protest, the final shot seeming to have done enough. He exhaled. 

‘I shouldn’t be upset.’ he said ‘I’m a terrible person. This isn’t my...shit to deal with and I’m making it about me which is....not who I want to be for Patrick.’ he looked up at Stevie wide eyed begging her to get it. She was, for better or worse the same person- albeit with terrible dress sense. She took his glass off him and took a swig nodding. 

‘You are that person. And you are the other person David.’ she said with a shrug. ‘And that’s ok. Because for whatever weird reason, Patrick loves both of you.’

David quirked an eyebrow at her. ‘You’d better be going somewhere with this.’ he said. 

‘You have just proven that you can be this...compromising, almost selfless person to do what’s right for the person you love.’ Stevie said. ‘And that is not the David Rose I met. Patrick has worked that magic on you. And if he can teach me his tricks I’d be grateful.’ David was still staring at her eyebrow raised ‘But’ she continued. ‘And I say this with as close to love as you’re going to get from me’ she took another drink ‘You’re still you.’

‘What does that even mean? That I’m selfish? Self-involved? That I can’t really put my shit aside for someone else?’ David was aware enough that he’d just said out loud everything he was scared of and he took a swig of whiskey direct from the bottle this time. 

‘She means you’ve been hurt, and you’re scared of being hurt again.’ Johnny said gently from his left. 

David turned and looked at his Dad, who was looking at him with a combination of pity and something else David couldn’t quite place, and it ripped him apart again. He didn’t want to be the disaster who lurched from one failed attempt at a relationship to the next while his parents looked on in pity. Instead of taking his Dad’s well-intentioned remark as comforting something snapped in his brain, probably something that had been waiting all day. 

‘Oh so it’s MY fault is it?’ he said jumping up, not really having anywhere to go but needing to put some distance between him and his Dad and Stevie. ‘Of course, it is, it’s always David’s fault, for being...whatever’ he threw his arms up in despair. ‘He’s always too something- too needy, too aloof just...too much. Why would anyone want to be around that for more than two minutes?’ 

‘David come on that’s not what I-’ Johnny tried, but David was in full swing. 

‘I get it ok? I’m a disaster. I have made nothing but terrible choices in life and even when I try to make good choices, guess what? It still goes wrong. And what does it matter anyway, because everyone is just waiting for me to fuck it up once again? David has a gallery, he fucks it up. But wait he’s got a Store now, so I guess we’re just waiting for him to fuck that up. Yes it was a big fucking achievement to get someone to stay with me for more than four months, and we all celebrated that didn’t we? Oh and then it went wrong. But guess what I fixed it we, fixed it. We got through it. All of it. And I was being a good person, I’m trying to be a good person. And now it’s all going to shit again, and it’s my fault! Because it always is, and it always ends up going wrong. And I’m a terrible person because I’m hurt, Ok? I’m hurt he went all this time not telling them about me. You, you knew the next day Dad, partly because Alexis has no boundaries, but because I’m not ashamed, even when I was scared it would all go wrong. And I’m a terrible person because I watched him cry because he’s scared and I’m still hurt. Who does that? I sat there I held him while he cried because he’s scared and’ David’s voice caught in his throat. ‘But I’m a terrible person because I’m hurt.’ he was crying now furiously wiping tears away. 

Stevie looked at him for a second. Then got up. ‘I’m going to make this quick because it’s really uncomfortable for both of us’ she said. Then quickly wrapped her arms around his waist and held on. Just for a second. She pulled back and looked at him. 

‘And even quicker I’m gonna say, you aren’t a terrible person. Those are valid feelings. He hid something important from his Mom and Dad, but he also hid it from you. And that’s not ok. As the official best friend I have to take your side on this.’ she folded her arms. ‘I like Patrick. You know that. I like him better than you sometimes.’ David glared ‘I like him with you better. He’s a good man.’ Stevie fixed him with a look, ‘But on your behalf, I’m taking on that anger. And I’m really good at that.’ David allowed a little smile. ‘He should have told you he wasn’t out to them. He had his reasons for not being but not for not telling you.’ She was deadly serious now, and David slightly worried for Patrick next time she saw him. ‘It’s not fair on Mr Rose either’ she gestured at Johnny, who shrugged ‘Because if you knew, he would have known and we wouldn’t be in this mess.’ 

Johnny nodded, he had to agree, even if unlike Stevie he couldn’t be the one to say it, having been the one to put his foot in it. He also knew he couldn’t be the one to say Patrick had done wrong- however unintentionally. 

Stevie continued, on a roll now. ‘It wasn’t right to hide it from you- even if he wasn’t ready, you should have known that. And he’s hurt you. And that’s not right.’ she nodded. Then unsure what to do with herself, speech now over she sat down on the coffee table again. 

David stood, uncertainly, unsure what to do after his outburst. He swallowed and wiped his eyes. 

‘You don’t have to like, hate him or anything.’ David said. 

Stevie shrugged. ‘I’ll be nice to him today. What with the Birthday and coming out and all that. But I will be saving it for any best friend ‘you ever hurt my friend’ speech I have to give.’

‘Entirely fair’ David said with a nod. ‘When you do, leave out the part where I did.’ he gestured at the air ‘That’

He moved back over to the sofa. Feeling his Dad’s eyes on him. ‘What?’ he asked. ‘I know. I know I’m being a drama queen, whatever.’

Johnny shrugged. ‘No. I’d say it was entirely reasonable if delivered in your usual...particular way.’ he half smiled, knowing he’d get an only slightly sincere scowl in return from his son. ‘David, it’s ok to be hurt.’ he said. 

David leaned back and closed his eyes. ‘It’s like being two people at once. I stood there, so ...wounded, by the fact he hadn’t told them. But in the same second my heart broke for him. How can I sit there and watch the man I..I’ he hesitated, having not said it in front of anyone but Patrick, ‘The man I love’ he exhaled, and caught his Dad’s slight smile as he said it, ‘Watch him break, but also be hurt by what he did. And scared it could still be over. What if it goes wrong? What if the Brewers change their mind, decide they don’t want a gay son after all, what if he chooses......not me.’

‘They love him, David.’ Johnny said, ‘They aren’t going to reject him.’

‘You don’t know!’ David exclaimed, ‘They say one thing, they could turn around and do another. We don't know them. Not really. They could hurt him...he could..’ he flopped back against the sofa. 

‘And even if they did. Patrick isn’t going to leave you. He’s not going to throw away what you have.’

‘People have thrown me away for far far less.’ David said bitterly. And Johnny’s heart broke. It was true, and it killed him that even now David couldn’t fully trust this was different. 

‘David, I can’t know what you and Patrick have gone through on your side.’ Johnny said patiently. ‘But I can tell you what it feels like on Mr and Mrs Brewer’s side.’ he looked over to check David was listening. He’d opened his eyes and was looking sideways at him. Johnny continued ‘When you told your Mother and me you were pansexual you know what broke my heart?’ he saw David furrow his brows and plowed on quickly ‘How scared you were. I know you put on a brave face and thought you were being so bold with it, but I could see you were scared. And the last thing I ever wanted was my kids to be scared to tell me anything.’

David sat up slightly, looked like he was going to speak but didn’t. Johnny carried on. ‘I can’t pretend I understood fully at first- your Mom was better at that, and yes, it took me a while to wrap my head around what it might mean for you- I mean also bear in mind it was 20 years ago when 15-year old David came out’

‘Ok we don’t have to remind everyone how old I am thanks’ David muttered with a glare seeing Stevie smirking at him. 

‘He’s right though’ Stevie offered, ‘I mean in the 20 years ago thing.’ 

‘What?’ David shook his head 

‘In some ways Patrick is lucky, he’s coming out now. Not 20 years ago. He’s not a kid. His parents have had all that extra time to be educated, to understand their son...he’s not just a dumb teenager telling them something they can brush off as a ‘phase’ he’s a grown-up in a serious relationship, telling them he’s happy.’ 

‘I suppose.’ David exhaled. 

‘And.’ Stevie continued. ‘They have met you. They know you’re a good person. They know all the good stuff Patrick has told them even without knowing who you were. They will be ok.’ She fixed David with her best, ‘best friend caring’ stare. Then jumped up. ‘Ok that is far too much realness for one morning. I’m going to clean room six.’

‘Thanks Stevie.’ Johnny said, ‘I’ll stay here and man the desk.’

They exchanged a look as David put his head in his hands again, Stevie nodded and went out. David heard the click of the door, but couldn’t face sitting up. Everything felt like it was spinning. The whiskey probably hadn’t helped. He knew he had to get up at some point and finish getting the party-ready. Put on his ‘game face’ as Patrick would say and support his boyfriend. For some reason, the sports metaphor was what pushed him over the edge and he felt tears properly spill over again. This time there was no stemming the tide, once they started there was nothing stopping them, it was as if everything suddenly hit him at once. His tears from earlier, pricking at his eyes while he comforted Patrick, tears of frustration at himself just now, were nothing as he felt his face suddenly wet, and struggled to breathe normally. He looked down bringing his hands up to his face, cursing that his Dad was likely thinking he was an idiot, yet again. 

Johnny saw the hitch in David’s breathing and knew he was crying. He’d seen David hide his face and cry far too often. He reached over and rubbed a hand on the small of his back. 

‘Hey’ he said gently, ‘It’ll be ok’

David felt his Dad’s hand on his back, as instinctual as he had done with Patrick earlier and it sent him further spiraling. His tears spilling out morphed into sobs, and he felt his Dad shift over, wrapping an arm around him and he twisted, wrapping himself around his Dad’s neck and holding on. He felt like he was a teenager again. People assumed he was always his Mom’s best friend, and he had been. He was, for better or worse. But the few times growing up he’d really hit rock bottom, his Dad had been the one to pick up the pieces- the only Rose at that time really equipped to pick up pieces really. And however dramatic David was being. However much his Dad clearly didn’t understand what was going on, the times David had tiptoed into his office late at night and cried in his lap, he’d lost count of. 

Johnny pulled David closer and felt him shift to put his head in his lap. He wrapped an arm closer and let him cry. In his heart, Johnny knew it would be ok. He knew David knew this time was different. But it felt so close to all the times before he knew David needed to get this out so he could get through it. He needed to fall apart here, so he could be there if Patrick fell apart. This time was different, but Johnny’s heart broke for all the times it hadn’t been ok to make David feel like this. There wasn't as easy a relationship as he and his Mother’s, they had a strange shared language that Johnny had long ago given up trying to understand. But there was a quieter introspective side of David that he shared. And despite everything, despite the drama and the loud exterior, David had always quietly come to him in times of greatest need. Long late evenings in his study, failing to work out exactly what had happened this time, but being a quiet patient ear that David needed. He wished he’d been there more, but at least at times like this he felt like he’d done something right that his son still came to him when he needed it. 

David’s breathing had slowed now, the wave of emotion subsiding a little. His Dad’s arm was warm and strong around him, and he didn’t want to move. But he felt stupid. He sat up, flustered and embarrassed. 

‘Sorry Dad’

Johnny shook his head. ‘For what.’

David screwed up his face. ‘This. Me. Whatever.’ 

Johnny knitted his eyebrows together and twisted, taking David’s hands in his shoulders- and David was struck with the similarities in their physical gestures again- ‘Now, listen to me David.’ He said, and David swallowed, sure he’d done something wrong ‘Don’t you ever apologize for being you.’

David’s face crumpled and he had to fight to stop crying again. 

‘I um, mean it, David.’ Johnny fixed him in his gaze. ‘I’m proud of who you are. In every sense.’ 

David’s face did the thing where he half-smiled, half screwed up his face and he nodded. ‘Thanks, Dad.’ he mostly whispered, wiping at his face. ‘Ugh. I cannot host a party looking like this’

Johnny chuckled. Glad to see some of the usual David back. ‘Well, you’ve got a few hours.’

‘You say that it’s going to take that to fix’ David gestured ‘This.’ he pushed himself up ‘And I have to supervise Twyla setting up, and bring the wine over from the store and-’ he was off and running. Johnny stood up with him. 

‘You have time.’ he told him. ‘Go back to the room. Shower, change, whatever. I’ll help you with the wine and things. Roland can take care of things here.’ 

David tilted his head. His Dad never offered to help him with events. Possibly because when he was 25 he’d yelled a lot over some misplaced decorations. David nodded and went to the door. 

‘Oh and David.’ Johnny said ‘Patrick will love whatever sweater you choose. So don’t take all day about it.’ It was half teasing, but mostly very fond. ‘He’ll love it whatever happens’ Johnny said again more seriously.

David swallowed, his face unable to quite stay neutral. ‘Thanks, Dad.’ he said before going, leaving Johnny to clear away the glasses and text Roland. He had a feeling Stevie wasn’t in fact still doing room six either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like in order for David to do what he did in this episode, he had to let himself fall apart in between. And Johnny just sort of breaks my heart by existing. And as much as my heart aches for Patrick, someone has to say the things that needed to be said. That someone is Stevie. Of course.


	3. You've come to yell?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevie puts her 'Best Friend' hat on and goes to talk to Patrick.

There was a knock at the door and Patrick jumped. Then groaned. His head hurt. Probably dehydration. And disorientation. He’d been asleep. He guessed his ‘I’ll just lie down for a bit’ had turned into a full-on nap. He looked at the bedside clock. Nearly 6. Shit. He had less than two hours before he had to leave. 

The door again. He jumped. He was more on edge than he had thought. His stomach dropped, it couldn’t be his parents, surely. They wouldn’t? They would keep to David’s surprise. They were those sort of people after all. He forced himself up and to the door. Just as the banging increased. Likely not his parents then. 

‘Stevie?!’ he exclaimed, opening the door. 

Stevie looked him up and down. ‘Well you look like shit’ she said. 

He supposed he did. He’d spent a good hour crying with David, and hadn’t washed his face. He’d spent more than that crying alone after if he was honest. Then he’d crawled into bed. He moved a hand up to his hair, which was indeed sticking up in several directions. His old t-shirt was creased, and he imagined his face looked red and puffy still.

‘Are you gonna let me in?’ she asked, quaking an eyebrow at him. ‘Or do I have to yell at you from the hallway?’

‘Oh you’ve come to yell?’ That seemed about right. He moved to one side and gestured with one arm at her to come in. 

Stevie dumped her bag on the floor. 

‘Right.’ She said. ‘Do you want tea for calming influence or booze for ...well’ 

‘You’re giving me beverage options first?’ Patrick asked, folding his arms. 

‘Yes.’ Stevie said. ‘Happy Birthday by the way.’ 

Patrick half laughed. ‘Thank you?’ he sighed ‘And I think we’ve reached the booze point of the day.’ he gestured half-heartedly at the cupboard. 

‘That is the correct answer.’ Stevie said. 

Patrick wandered somewhat aimlessly towards the armchair and flopped in it. Stevie rummaged in the cupboard for two glasses, with one eye on him. He looked, frankly, fucked. Momentarily she regretted coming in so hard. No, she told herself. Do what you came here to do. She located a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen cupboard. 

‘Should I worry about the ease with which you found my alcohol supplies?’ Patrick asked from across the room. 

‘Does it surprise you that David and I hang out here to drink sometimes, when you’re watching the game with the guys?’

‘It does not.’ Patrick said with a smile that turned into something a bit more painful. Again, something pulled at Stevie but she pushed it down. She walked across the room, held out a glass to Patrick. He looked up at her in a half-glare. 

‘Drink’ she said. Sitting on the sofa opposite. ‘And listen.’ 

She waited and to Patrick’s credit he downed the drink and leaned forward looking at her. Fuck she thought. Why did he have to be such a good man? It was actually really irritating if he wasn't...so nice as well. 

Stevie cleared her throat. ‘I guess you know I spoke to David.’

Patrick looked confused. 

‘You can answer’ she said, ‘This isn’t like an interrogation, sit there and listen until I’m done situation.’ she paused ‘Yet.’ 

‘Oh ok. Just so I know.’ Patrick said. ‘Yeah the whole ‘I’ve come here to yell at you’ was a clue.’

‘Right. Right.’ Stevie took a drink ‘Just so we’re clear, for the next like five minutes- maybe less- I’m just David’s best friend. Not your friend. Ok?’

Patrick nodded ‘This seems fair.’

‘Ok.’ Stevie said. This actually was harder than she’d thought. She’d yelled at a lot of scummy boyfriends in her time, both hers and those belonging to other people. They almost always deserved it, and were always not great people on top of that. Patrick was an exception. Still, she had come here with a purpose. She downed her drink. And looked at him. ‘You hurt him’ she said simply ‘He trusted you. Something I don’t think he has ever, ever done as fully as he has with you. And you betrayed that trust with the biggest of things. And that is not right.’ 

‘I-’Patrick started. 

‘Oh I’m not done’ Stevie interjected 

‘Ok.’ Patrick looked down at his drink. 

‘Just so we’re really clear on what you did wrong. It’s not, not telling your parents about him. We’re all grown ups, we get that parents are a fucking nightmare. We get that this thing is huge for you. It’s none of that and you know it.’

She looked at him and he nodded, swallowing hard. Fuck she thought he looks like he’s going to cry. She could handle crying David, he did it often enough especially if you watched films with him. Crying Patrick with all his wide eyed sweetness she couldn’t do. Best to push on through. She fixed him in her gaze again, it felt like shouting at a puppy. But then she remembered David, and all the hurt he wasn’t giving in and showing Patrick. 

‘It’s that you didn’t tell him.’ She finished. ‘You didn’t tell him they didn’t know. You let him think he was talking to your Mom and Dad who knew he was your boyfriend all these months. You let him think he was inviting them here to celebrate with you, and have this joyous ‘meet the parents’ nonsense he’s never had. But mostly, you were just lying to him.’

Patrick nodded again. He sensed it was time to speak. ‘I know.’ he said softly ‘And it was really, really wrong. I see that now. I just...I don’t know, I didn’t want him to think less of me’

You think David wouldn't have understood? Wouldn’t have understood what it is to be scared of not being accepted? To be scared of being rejected? Don’t you think he wouldn’t have waited until you were ready?’ she looked at him, waiting for an answer this time. 

‘I don’t know’ Patrick shrugged. ‘I made a mess. It’s all new to me. And he’s so...so open and I’m..well’ Patrick shrugged and looked down. How could he explain it without Stevie thinking he was an even worse person. ‘He has it so...easy with his parents. They don’t care. Like really don’t care. And yes Moria is totally insane but she loves him for all his insanity. He’s done all this crazy shit and his parents don’t care.’

Stevie blinked at him. Patrick might be the exception, but he apparently had the denseness of many men still. ‘They didn’t used to care.’ She said. ‘Exactly.’

‘What?’ he said frowning at her. 

Stevie shrugged. ‘You’re scared because your parents care so much about you. You can’t stand the thought they might think differently about you.’ she saw Patrick swallow hard and bite his lip. ‘David’s parents didn’t care. I mean they did but in like their weird, rich people, world way. They do now, in their weird Rose family way...but they didn’t. For a long time.’ 

Patrick frowned, and stared into his empty glass. It hadn’t occurred to him. David was hurt, but also David didn’t have what he’d always had. The Roses were messy and complicated he knew. And he also knew they loved David dearly. But it was easy to forget there was a huge very different chapter there that he never saw. By comparison his was really straight forward. He had parents who loved him, who would do anything for him. He’d taken a long time to figure out some things about him that his parents needed to know. And they would, most likely, still love him. It was big and scary, but also he appreciated, he was lucky. 

Stevie put her glass down. ‘I’m almost done’ she declared. Patrick looked up paying attention again. ‘You hurt my friend.’ Stevie said. ‘Who has made himself vulnerable, and made an effort to change in a way I never thought he would. And I get to tell you that because he won’t, because he’s too busy trying to fix things for you. But you hurt him. And you have to make it right too.’

Patrick nodded. Without looking up. He deserved that. He might have been caught up in his own shit, but he knew he’d hurt David and he'd seen it on his face. 

‘I promise I will make it right.’ Patrick said, looking Stevie in the eye. She held his gaze for a second then nodded. ‘Alright then. My work here is done.’ she stood up. 

He blinked at her. ‘That’s it?’ 

Stevie nodded. Then shrugged. ‘You’re a good guy. The best guy in fact. And while I’m duty bound to tell you that you did a shitty thing….you’re not a shitty person.’ 

Patrick nodded. He would make it right. 

‘You’d better get ready.’ Stevie said. ‘Turning up in an inappropriate outfit will be completely unforgivable you know.’ 

Patrick laughed, imagining David’s face if he rocked up like this. ‘Any tips on what to wear to a Birthday party and coming out to your parents evening?’ 

‘Borrow one of David’s outfits and you won’t have to bother with the coming out?’ Stevie said, deadpan. 

Patrick laughed, like he really laughed, he could very much see his parents faces if he walked in like that. ‘Might be worth a shot’ he said. 

Stevie picked up her bag. ‘For what it’s worth, your parents seem like really good people.’ she said. ‘It’s never easy. But I think they’ll be ok.’

Patrick smiled, ‘Thanks Stevie’ he said. ‘And thanks for coming over and yelling at me. I appreciate that David has a friend willing to yell at me when I need it.’

‘Patrick, I promise I will yell at you any time you deserve it’ Stevie smiled and waved, and was gone. 

It shouldn’t have made him feel better, but getting yelled at, albeit in a fairly friendly way, had helped. It wasn’t fixed, it was far from over. But at the very least he could get himself off the sofa, into a respectable shirt and some jeans, and make himself walk to the cafe. The rest was a little out of his control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Patrick, like Patrick loves inventory, but someone also needed to tell him it wasn't all ok. (I love the episode, I think Dan Levy wrote it perfectly, but in the bigger picture it feels like some gaps needed filling in...and while I feel in my heart why Patrick did what he did- a little too much- it feels like these things needed saying too)


	4. Tea Is Soothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twyla has some words of wisdom while David waits for the party to start.

‘It’s all under control David I promise.’ Twyla said with a smile. 

‘Why don’t you sit, I’ll make you tea. You can just have a breather while we wait for everyone to arrive.’

‘It’s Patrick who drinks tea. I drink coffee.’

‘I know.’ Twyla said ‘You think I don’t know your orders by now? But my Dad always used to say ‘tea is soothing’ and he was wrong about most things but not about that.’ Twyla was already setting a cup of tea in front of him on the counter. ‘Sit. Drink tea. Breathe’ she said. 

She turned to go back to the kitchen when David called after her ‘Twyla. Twyla wait.’ She turned, frowning at him. He huffed ‘Could you. I mean if you’re not busy…’ he gestured at the empty space in front of him ‘Just like there’s a lot going on in my head and if we could just’ he gestured slightly manically back and forth and Twyla smiled. She poured herself a coffee and leaned back against the counter. 

‘I thought you said coffee made you tense?’ he asked, screwing up his nose.

‘It does. But it also keeps you awake to work a party with a very demanding client’ she said with a grin. 

‘Very funny.’ David said. Blowing on his tea and stirring in a bit more milk. 

‘You know.’ Twyla started, ‘Patrick was coming in here for weeks before you two met and you never saw him.’

‘He was?’ David asked. He’d always wondered how he’d missed Patrick in a town so small, but he always assumed he just kept himself to himself. 

‘Mm hmm’ Twlya continued. ‘He saw you though.’

David frowned. ‘Really?’

‘He’d sit in the corner over there.’ Twyla pointed to the left-hand window, to the table half-hidden behind plants. ‘He was always alone- now and again with Ray, but mostly alone, and reading his book.’ She caught David smile at that ‘I saw him clock your Mom and you coming in once, I mean, your Mom does turn heads that for sure. So I just figured you know, you don’t see those sort of outfits everyday in a town like this.’ She sipped her coffee. ‘But then your Mom came in with Alexis, and he didn’t even look up.’

David fidgeted with his cup. ‘Maybe he didn’t see them.’ 

‘Maybe’ Twlya shrugged. ‘But men usually see Alexis.’ 

David laughed. Twyla wasn’t wrong. But he was endeared by how she said it without a hint of jealousy. ‘In Alexis’ own words he was either ‘newly married or gay’’ David winced a little as he said it. 

‘He saw you though.’ 

David shifted uncomfortably. 

Twyla sipped her coffee, ‘But anyway that wasn’t really what I was going to say.’ David raised an eyebrow at her. ‘I got to know him a little then, you know like I do anybody around here. And he’s changed David.’ she grinned at him over his coffee cup but he looked at her slightly terrified ‘I mean like in a good way. She said quickly, putting her cup down and moving over to the counter next to him. ‘David I was here for your first date remember, even when you didn’t know it was a date I did. When he turned up in his little jacket with his little gift bag.’ 

David smiled sort of sadly at the memory, conscious of the knot rising in his chest again. 

‘The next morning he was waiting for me to open.’ Twyla said. And David visibly perked up, he didn’t know this. ‘He said he couldn’t sleep and he was going to the store, but could he have some coffee because he’d snuck out without wanting to wake Ray.’ Twyla smiled at him again, ‘Anyway I let him in while I got things ready and the coffee was brewing, and honestly David I think he was only half awake or sleep deprived because he talked like I’d never heard him talk before. Mostly about nothing, about the store what you guys were doing there- he was so excited, but just about nothing too... but it was like something had been...I don’t know switched on in him.’

David smiled that half smile of his and Twyla could see just how worried he still was. ‘What’s wrong David?’ she asked, in case nobody had actually asked him today. 

He poked at his cup for a moment. He was being selfish, and he’d spent all of today being as unselfish as it was possible to be. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to say it. ‘I know why he didn’t tell them.’ he said slowly, carefully, ‘I understand why. But…’

‘But it still hurt’ Twyla said with a kind smile. 

He nodded. Feeling so guilty. It wasn’t about him, it really wasn’t. 

‘Feel your feelings’ as my Grandma likes to say’ Twyla said ‘Of course she’s one to talk as a valium addict, but maybe that’s why?’

David’s eyes widened. You could always rely on Twyla’s family for...well something.

‘Thinking of my Grandma’ Twyla continued, brain on a tangent now, ‘She also says hurting the ones you love is inevitable sometimes, it’s how you fix it that counts.’ 

David nodded. He really hoped it was fixed. Or that it would be. Just like Patrick’s nagging tiny part of him he couldn’t quite shake the fear 

‘It’s all fine David. His parents are fine. He’s still coming to the party. In a few hours it’ll be fine.’

David stirred his tea. Trying not to say the one thing that had been bothering him all afternoon. He felt Twyla’s stare on him and he sighed. ‘What if it’s not?’

‘How?’ Twyla said, her wide eyed sweet unassuming face seemingly unable to comprehend getting hurt by anyone like David could. Like David was scared Patrick might. 

‘What if his parents change their mind? What if they’ve had a few hours to think about it and like freak out and go ‘oh hell no I no longer want my gay son’ and then they reject him, he leaves me and goes back home with them and marries a woman like he was supposed to.’

Twyla shrugged. ‘Because that’s not what he’s supposed to do.’ to her it was abundantly simple, apparently not to David who looked at her blankly. ‘He’s supposed to marry you.’ Twyla said, again assuming she was stating the obvious. 

‘What? No. I mean even without all’ David gestured wildly. ‘We’re not- we don’t know if we’re supposed to, if we’ll.’

‘He’s meant to marry you.’ Twyla said. David might not be able to see it now. Hell Patrick probably didn’t even know it yet, but she’d been certain of it for some time. 

‘Now. I’ve got crab cakes to finish. Down a glass of champagne and put your party face on- as my Mom used to say’

David barely had time to wonder not for the first time exactly what Twyla’s Mom was like, before he spotted his own Mother peering in through the window, no time for downing champagne before whirlwind Moria was upon him, half regaling him with convention tales half trying to piece together the remains of whatever his Dad had managed to tell her. Soon they were too surrounded by everyone else for her to get any more information. And soon it was five minutes before Patrick was due to arrive. He felt someone press a glass into his hand. 

‘Down that.’ Alexis said, tossing her hair, ‘Now.’

For once he wasn’t going to question it. The whiskey burned his throat and he made a mental note to tell people to pick a smooth vodka in times of crisis in the future. Alexis looked him dead in the eyes. ‘Good. Now it’s like when I was negotiating my way over the Iranian border, you keep focus on the next thing in front of you nothing more. Don’t think about the big picture, one step at a time. You only have to get through two conversations and you’re on the way home’

David blinked. Weirdly that was good advice. 

‘He loves you David. You love him. Just remember that.’ 

He nodded at her and she quickly squeezed him around the waist before disappearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a real soft spot for Twy (and frankly a bit of a crush on Sarah Levy), so I wanted her voice in the mix. The 'tea is soothing' line is a nod to Giles from Buffy 'Tea is soothing, I wish to be tense' which as a Brit, I mutter often.


	5. The Party You Deserve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Roses (and Stevie) make sure David gets through the rest of the party, Patrick makes sure he gets what he wants at the end.

It was ok. It was going to be ok. David kept repeating it to himself. He had sidled into their booth for a sit down. And a bit of a breather. It felt like High School parties in a way, tucked away in the corner hiding. Watching the cutest guy in the room. This time the cutest guy in the room raised an eyebrow in a silent ‘Ok?’ at him. And David nodded, with a lopsided smile. Ok, just tired and in need of a breather. 

‘A host must be enjoying the par-ty David too.’

One that was apparently not coming as his Mom slid into the booth next to him. 

‘Oh I am. I am.’ he smiled, not taking his eyes off Patrick. 

‘He looks happy.’ Moria said following his gaze. David finally looked at her. 

‘You know this look is working very well’ David said, indicating her wig. Deflecting from the conversation he didn’t want to have. 

‘I know.’ she said. A little smile in his direction letting him know, she knew what he was doing. 

David folded his arms and looked back at Patrick, who happened to glance up at him and smile. David smiled back, all lopsided and unguarded. Moria smiled at him too, and over at David. Patrick got pulled into a conversation with his Dad and Bob. Ordinarily rescuing someone from Bob’s detailed analysis of miles to the gallon would be a mercy, but Patrick’s Dad seemed to be enjoying it, and Patrick was listening, intently, easy in his company. David’s heart hurt for a moment thinking of all the time they’d lost for little things like that. 

‘You know.’ Moira said gently, ‘I never realised, just how much time I missed with you kids until.’ she sipped at her drink ‘Well’ she gestured at the room. 

David nodded. Still watching Patrick and his Dad. 

‘Even with your Father.’ Moria continued, and David couldn’t tell if this was about to spin off into a long drawn out, possibly inappropriate story, or offer him ill fated advice. Maybe both. ‘We always went places together, but we weren't always together.’ she flicked the ponytail of her wig back. ‘And now, you know, he can’t bear to be away from me longer than a rehearsal and he picks me up every day.’

David chuckled. ‘That had nothing to do with you telling him Gwen Verdon would not have walked to and from rehearsals.’ 

‘I don’t know what you mean Dav-id’ she replied with a smile. ‘But he still does it. Every day.’ 

David paused. Thinking before he said the thing that was playing on his mind. 

‘Did Dad ever, in all the years do anything that really hurt you?’ 

‘Forty years David, it would be a miracle if he hadn’t.’ Moria took a breath, ‘And I doubt I’ve been always perfect either if we’re being honest’ 

‘Hmm.’ David said. 

‘But he never did anything intentionally.’ Moria said. ‘Men, your father included, can be dense sometimes. Careless even. You know that.’ she searched out where John was in the room, poking around the buffet table while Roland talked in his ear, and smiled. ‘But your Father is a gentleman. Always has been. And he would never intentionally hurt anyone. Especially someone he loved. And I feel lucky, to have this partnership’ 

David swallowed. And nodded. He followed his Mom’s gaze to where his Dad was now doing an admirable job of eating non stop while presumably looking interested enough in Roland that he hadn’t finished his monologue. Across the room Patrcik was still nodding along to Bob’s story. David’s mouth quirked into an involuntary smile. And felt his Mom’s hand on his arm as she leaned her head close to his.

‘You know, He knew me six weeks before he proposed.’ David rolled his eyes, a story they had heard many, many times. 

‘Because you were ravishing and spellbinding and he simply could not resist’ David rolled his eyes, with a well worn imitation of his Mom’s ‘how they met’ story. It was worth nothing that his Dad’s version was slightly different, only not when Moria was in earshot. He wrinkled his nose at the other implication too. ‘Mom that was a different time. And as you liked to remind me my relationship history isn’t exactly, not to mention that the Government have barely deigned to-’

‘No dear.’ Moria continued. ‘Though that said, it’s been long enough now.’ she nodded at Patrick. ‘Now everything is settled.’

‘Ew. No Mom. We are not. No.’ David chased away any thoughts beyond tonight from his mind. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s just get through tonight. David swiped his Mom’s drink, which was apparently neat rum. And made a face. 

‘Serves you right.’ she said taking it back. ‘Anyway.’ Moira continued. ‘That wasn’t my point. My point was, your Father proposed to me after six weeks.’ She paused, poking at a strand of hair escaping the braid of her wig. ‘It took him six months to tell his Mother about me’ 

David looked at her eyes wide. This was indeed news. ‘But why...I mean it’s not like you were…’ he shrugged. ‘Why?’

‘Oh many things- not least because she never liked me much.’ Moira squeeze his arm again, preempting him spinning off on the basis of that. She paused remembering. Forty years on it still wasn’t an easy thing to admit. ‘I was a struggling actress. Not an ideal prospect’ she shrugged ‘Younger than him.’ she raised an eyebrow, ‘Not Jewish.’ 

‘Wow.’ David said softly, ‘Mom I had no idea.’

Moria waved her hand ‘Ancient history dear.’ she said. ‘Not en-tier-ley suit-ab-le’ it might have been said.’ She lowered her voice ‘I was not Grandma Rose’s favourite person.’

‘Well Grandma Rose was not a nice person.’ David said, his voice low also. 

‘Don’t you dare tell your Father that.’ Moria said, squeezing David’s arm, ‘He worshipped her.’ She paused ‘The old hag’ 

They giggled. David let his eyes rest on Patrick again, and Moria followed his gaze. 

‘He sees you.’ she said softly. 

‘I still don’t know what that means.’ he said, slightly exasperated. 

‘You will.’ Moria said. They watched together for long moments as Patrick laughed with his Dad and Bob, looking away quickly with a shared giggle as they looked up. 

‘Your Grandmother used to serve me fish every Friday night.’ Moria said out of nowhere. ‘With the eye facing me on the table. So I knew’

‘She locked Alexis and me in the attic one summer.’ David said. ‘So Alexis spiked her tea with sleeping pills and we watched TV in the fancy living room all night.’

Moira tried to hide her delight at the tale but failed. She was about to return with a similar tale that allowed her an evening’s peace at their summer house, when Johnny walked up to the table, plate piled high with crab cakes. 

‘What are we talking about.’ he asked sitting down. 

‘Fish’ David said deadpan and Moria gently smacked his arm. 

‘Fish? Well, I tell you David these crab cakes are great, we should get Twyla to make them more often.’ 

‘Well they should the amount they cost’ David mused, waving the plate away as his Dad offered it. 

‘John no’ Moria said as he did the same to her. 

‘Ew. Crabcakes Dad no.’ Alexis said sliding in next to Johnny. ‘What are we talking about?’

‘Fish’ David said again, ‘Apparently.’ 

‘No.’ Moira declared, ‘We are toasting David’s impeccable hosting skills and a surprise party well planned.’ 

‘The surprise was ruined and I outed my boyfriend’ David said ‘I don’t think that deserves toasting.’ 

‘You get the party you deserve’ Moria said. ‘That’s always been my motto’

‘Does that include the Christmas party where David threw up on himself?’ Alexis asked. ‘Ooh that reminds me I must send the pictures to Patrick.’ she grinned at him. 

David glowered. Then smirked ‘Well he already knows about that.’ he said smugly. 

‘Does he know you ate the rest of the Christmas cake out of the trash that year too?’ She smirked. 

‘Kids, kids.’ Johnny said between bites of crabcake. ‘Let David enjoy his night.’

‘Thank you, Dad.’ David said surprised. 

‘I sense you’ve got years to embarrass him by telling Patrick stories like that’ Johnny grinned. ‘Like the time he fell into the school swimming pool and had to be pulled out by the elementary school swim team.’ 

‘Or when he broke his nose playing basketball’ Moira said. 

‘Well Stevie knows that one thanks to someone’ he shot a look at Alexis, ‘So I’m sure Patrick already knows.’ 

‘Oh he does’ Stevie said, appearing at David’s shoulder. ‘But don’t worry I’ve saved loads more embarrassing stories about you.’

‘Really nobody asked for your help’ David said glowering up at her. 

‘No but sometimes you need it.’ Stevie said. David glared again. ‘I am going home. Because someone has to open the Motel tomorrow.’

‘Thanks Stevie’ Johnny said. She nodded. 

‘But in the meantime I am here to give you the help you do not want and say, go and be with your boyfriend and his parents. And show them why he loves you.’ she paused ‘Or failing that, get them drunk.’ 

‘Yeah David, go and charm the Brewers.’ Alexis said ‘Get some boyfriend points.’ 

David squirmed a bit. ‘No he’s...busy, they’re talking to Bob and...Patrick hasn’t seen them in forever I’ll just.’

‘David have you talked to them at all tonight?’ Johnny asked. 

‘When they came in. And after he talked to them I did another ‘hello I’m the boyfriend’ thing...and then people needed drinks, and they were meeting everyone, and it’s just you know...not the time.’

‘It is pre-cis-ely the time.’ Moria said, a hand on his arm. 

‘But what if-’

‘David. Pre-cis-ely none of your what ifs have come through today.’ Alexis said, their Mom either ignoring or not noticing the flawless imitation. 

David opened his mouth to reply, then closed it. She was actually right. He sighed. 

‘David you did like all this. And the scary talk with Patrick. You can charm a couple of charming middle aged people. You like do it all day every day in the store.’

David looked over at Patrick, laughing with his Dad, his Mom had joined them now. 

‘Be brave my boy.’ Moira siad, with a squeeze to his arm, she got up out of the booth to let him out. And when he didn’t immediately move pulled him out. She squared up to him, straightening his sweater with a wink. 

Stevie handed him her drink- or at least the remains of it, and he gratefully downed it. The Cafe suddenly seemed like a huge space to cross. David inhaled, feeling his family and Stevie’s eyes on his back. Patrick’s back was still to him, but his Mom and Dad saw him coming. 

‘David!’ Patrick’s Mom exclaimed with a grin. He was at Patrick’s side now, and the grin with which Patrick looked up at him told him everything. He felt an arm immediately around his waist, and he exhaled, looping an arm across Patrick’s shoulders. He saw his parents exchange a look and he knew Patrick did too, so he squeezed a hand on Parick’s shoulder. 

‘I was just telling Patrick about our local baseball team’s season’ Clint said ‘I hear you’ve played a little this season’

David smiled, ‘I think play is a little strong’

‘David scored a Home Run’ Patrick said with a wink. 

‘To be honest I’m a much better cheerleader than I am a player.’ He said ‘Do they have cheerleaders in Baseball?’

Patrick’s Dad laughed, and his Mom smiled ‘You can be the exception if you like’ she said, then in a fake whisper ‘It’s fine, I don’t understand the baseball talk either.’ she said with a wink. 

David’s face struggled not to grin, and he felt Patrick squeeze him a little harder. None of his what ifs were coming true. He glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw his stupid family and Stevie wathing him. No he thought, his stupid family, Stevie might as well be lumped into it now. The rest of it was standing here. Without thinking he planted a kiss on Patrick’s head as he talked baseball with his Dad. For a moment his breath caught and he worried, but he saw a look of joy flicker across Patrick’s Mom’s face, and he held on. And didn’t let go until the party started breaking up. 

A little after David finally unwound himself from Patrick’s waist, Patrick was carrying the last of the heavy bags outside to put in the Roses’ car. He hadn’t brought his- on account of maintaining the idea that ‘Surprise Parties’ didn’t include a contingency for taking the leftovers home in your car. And he’d assumed he would need to drink a fair bit to get through it. His parents were inside saying some goodbyes to David, Alexis and Twyla, so Patrick took a moment to breathe in the cool night air while he waited for Mr Rose to bring the car around. 

His head was spinning a bit and not just from the likely deadly mix of champagne and beer he’d drunk. And the lack of food all day. He silently rejoiced remembering David never got a chance to eat that pizza earlier, so it would be waiting for them at home. At home. He noticed how often he subconsciously thought of it as their home already, even though David technically didn’t live there. He also knew without doubt David would be coming home with him tonight. And the relief that brought after today was palpable. He exhaled and pushed his hands into his pockets. 

The door opened behind him and he turned expecting to see David bringing out more bags, or his parents ready to go-they were getting a lift back with the Roses, and Patrick was trying very hard not to think about what that car ride looked like. Instead he saw Moria, framed by the cafe light, still looking impeccable, if slightly remarkable in her outfit. He caught himself wondering not for the first time just how she did balance in those shoes. 

‘Hey Mrs Rose.’ Patrick said with a smile, ‘Mr Rose is just getting the car I think’

She walked down the steps and stood next to him ‘That was quite a night.’

He grinned and looked down. ‘You could say that.’ he said 

‘David doesn’t have the best of luck with Party Planning’ Moria said with a smile in her voice ‘He once managed a boat party in which the whole thing sank. In a canal’ 

Patrick chuckled. ‘Well luckily nobody got wet tonight’ 

‘Even when he was a boy, a Chickenpox outbreak put a stop to his 8th Birthday Party.’ she said musing to herself ‘We had to send the zoo animals home again, he wouldn’t even pet the giraffe’ 

‘I hope the giraffe recovered’ Patrick said with a smile. Still sometimes he was amazed at how ‘normal’ in the Rose family history was so...something else to everyone else.

‘You know we planned a surprise Birthday Party for his 21st Birthday’ Moria continued, clearly on a trip down memory lane now. ‘He found out and made us cancel.’ 

‘Huh’ Patrick mused looking over at her, David did after all love attention, but for some reason hated surprise parties, he’d never said why. ‘Did he have some other far more important plans?’

Moira moved to stand next to him. ‘He was afraid nobody would come.’ she said sadly. ‘We took him to a fancy dinner, and even got Alexis to come home...it was perfectly lovely and civilised. But…’

She didn’t finish. There was something different about the way Moria talked to him one on one Patrick had realised. She seemed to drop some of her ‘Moira Rose’ and become...something slightly different. It was nice. If sometimes a little unnerving when she quickly snapped back to the other side of her. 

‘I sometimes wish I knew him then’ Patrick admitted, ‘But he says we met at the right time.’ he shrugged, not sure where he was going with this. 

‘What do you think?’ Moria asked. 

Patrick exhaled. ‘My 21st Birthday I spent at an awful B&B with Rachel, trying to pretend we were sophisticated adults, you know so much better than all our friends at our respective colleges, getting drunk or whatever. And look how awesome we were making long distance work.’ he pushed his hands further into his pockets. ‘It was...fine. I just didn’t know things could be more than...fine.’ 

‘And now?’ Moria asked. He didn’t have to look at her to see her smile. 

‘Far better than fine.’ Patrick grinned. Then his face fell a little ‘I just wish it hadn’t taken me another ten years to get there’

‘Everything in its own time Patrick.’ Moria said. 

Patrick nodded and they stood in silence for a moment. 

‘Patrick I-’ Moria was interrupted by the roar of the Roses’ ancient car could suddenly be heard as Johnny drove it from over at the garage. He pulled up in front of the cafe and got out, smiling at them both. 

‘Is this all of it?’ Johnny asked. 

‘Yup thanks Mr Rose. I’ll come by and get some of it tomorrow- the decorations and whatever the hell else David threw in there.’ he picked up a box ‘Please for the love of God eat the crabcakes though so I can stop hearing about them’ 

‘Hold on a moment Patrick.’ Moira said. ‘Now John is here too. There’s something we wanted to say to you.’

‘There is?’ Johnny asked, confused. 

‘Yes dear there is.’ Moria continued. 

‘Is everything ok?’ Patrick asked, shifting the weight of the box to his hip. 

Moira moved to stand next to Johnny who automatically put an arm around her waist, Patrick half smiled at it, still managing to frown in confusion. ‘Patrick we’re thrilled everything has worked out with your parents. Really, they’re lovely people.’ she said ‘And while it’s not ideal the way it panned out we hope you’ll be ok, all of you.’

Patrick nodded, ‘Thank you Mrs Rose, I appreciate that.’ he shrugged ‘They’re good people.’

‘But if it hadn’t.’ Moria continued ‘John and I want you to know you’d always have had a family with us. No matter what. Even if you and David didn’t last. You’d still have been a part of our family.’ she smiled ‘Isn’t that right John?’

Johnny smiled. ‘Yes. Of course.’ he leaned into Moria a bit, touched if surprised still at the moment’s his wife’s compassion took over. ‘Not that I imagine you not being in David’s life is an issue.’ He looked past Moria inside, where David was talking with Patrick’s parents, in a perfect parallel perhaps. 

‘No.’ Patrick said, barely containing his emotions not an issue’ he swallowed hard. ‘But that, I mean Mrs Rose, what you just said. It means a lot.’ he shifted from foot to foot unsure what to do. Then cursing the lingering self doubt he put the box down and hugged Moira then Johnny. 

He had just finished putting the boxes in the car with Johnny as his parents appeared, there was a flurry of goodbyes as he ushered them into the car along with Alexis and the Roses, with promises of Brunch tomorrow. And with a roar the car disappeared as he waved them off. He took the couple of steps back into the cafe and David stood looking at him, arms folded. 

‘Did I just see you...hug my Mom and Dad?’ he asked, eyebrow high. 

‘I hugged your Mom and Dad, David.’ 

David raised an eyebrow. ‘Ok’ 

‘Is that ok?’ he asked with a smile, ‘or is there some kind of permission slip needed?’ 

‘I don’t hug my Mom and Dad.’ David said. 

‘What can I say David? I’m a hugger.’ Patrick smirked. ‘But you hug me.’ he said softer. 

‘Sometimes’ David narrowed his eyes, easing back into teasing, now some tension had started to melt away. ‘When you, you know deserve it.’

‘Deserve it. Wow. I’ll be sure to be on my best behaviour.’ 

David smirked. ‘We should’ he gestured aimlessly at the already tidy cafe. 

‘They’ve gone back. By the way’ Patrick said. ‘Not sure I want to be a fly on the wall of that car journey.’

David waved his phone ‘Already got Alexis on it.’ 

Patrick laughed. ‘Part of me is better off not knowing.’ he stood smiling at David. 

‘Do you want to take these back with us?’ David said gesturing at the one leftover platter of food. ‘Also there’s at least two half drunk bottles of wine I’m not wasting.’

Patrick took a couple of steps towards him. 

‘Unless you want to finish them now.’

‘Do you know what I want David?’ Patrick asked with that infuriating grin of his that said he was about to get whatever it was he wanted. 

‘No? Are you hungry? like there’s the dip, and chips, but Twy already boxed up the cake. It was in ...bag’ he trailed off sensing he was missing something. 

Patrick folded his arms and shook his head. 

‘What I want.’ he said ‘Is to dance with my boyfriend at my birthday party.’ 

David tilted his head, trying and failing to keep the grin off his face. He bit his lip. ‘I guess that could be arranged.’ he said. Patrick didn’t move. 

‘You come here to me.’ Patrick said, raising an eyebrow. There was a spark back in him David hadn’t realised he’d missed. The spark that made him want to punch him and kiss him at the same time. Though he knew he’d lose in a fight so he might as well kiss him. 

It took him exactly two steps to do exactly that. And in the same second Patrick wound his arms around his waist, and David rested his hands on the back of his neck. They kissed deep and long, safe in the knowledge Twyla was crashing about with pans in the back. Then they danced quietly, eyes closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That party felt like it was a marathon not a sprint, and a bit of Rose family interference was necessary to get David and Patrick to that dance. I also think about the Roses' marriage often, because I bet those early days were a ride...


	6. This is easy, the rest is hard.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and David finally get to talk about the day. And a few more things besides. Over tea.

A short while later, Twyla had finally kicked them out, they’d walked home through the late night quiet. David had kept up a monologue on everyone’s outfits, minor gossip he’d overheard interspersed with tales of his parent’s parties from years gone by. Patrick recognised his nervous chatter, letting David be David, while keeping a reassuring arm on his waist as they walked. It was the least he could do after tonight. He also knew he needed to talk once they got home. For now he was happy to listen. 

David fell quiet once they got back to the apartment, and while they busied themselves with dumping the last bit of food in the fridge, at least the bits David wasn’t eating while he did it. Patrick quietly changed into his pajamas- his regular sweat pants and t-shirt not the fancy ones David had bought for his party which David had declared ‘for best’ ...Patrick was still unclear why you needed ‘best’ pajamas, but he was once again willing to take David’s lead on that. While he was in the bathroom, splashing his face with cold water in an attempt to ward off the already creeping headache- the day, as much as the drink was catching up with him, David changed too. His pristine linen pajama pants, teamed with a stripy t shirt were adorable at the best of times, but he’d also taken to wearing one of Patrick’s old college sweaters over it, despite the red and white of his college colours clashing with David’s usual aesthetic, he let it hang unzipped over his fitted t shirt, and Patrick was hit with an as ever confusing, but pleasing hit of desire and overwhelming affection. 

David smiled softly at him crossing the apartment. They hadn’t spoken in about fifteen minutes, and the silence wasn’t tense, but it was weighted. 

‘Shall I make some tea?’ David asked walking into the kitchen, his voice was low and soft now. 

‘Tea?’ Patrick asked. 

‘Tea is soothing.’ David said, smiling remembering Twyla’s advice. ‘I thought we could use some of that.’ 

‘You’re not wrong’ Patrick smiled, he collapsed down on the sofa and was suddenly exhausted. 

David clanked the cups and cupboards, trying to fill his head with some noise. He knew they needed to talk about today. He knew it wasn’t bad, he also knew he had to let Patrick lead. So he was making tea. 

‘Flowery or normal?’ David asked, waiting for Patrick’s kettle to boil. 

‘Normal-decaf.’ Patrick said, glancing over. ‘Builder’s decaf’ he smiled. 

David quirked a smile, at a weird in-joke. Patrick’s British roommate at College had taught him ‘Builder’s Tea’ meant black (usually English Breakfast) tea, with milk, sometimes sugar. Tea loving Patrick had adopted it, saying it early on working at the Store, which had earned him a day’s teasing from David that later morphed into some very inappropriate ‘Builder/Construction worker’ jokes...and it had now become one of their often repeated phrases. David’s chest caught a bit realising it was the first time he’d had ‘in jokes’ with someone. It was also the first time he’d changed his own tastes to fit in with someone he realised, adding milk to the tea without thinking about it. Because somehow he just drank tea how Patrick liked it now. 

He brought the mugs over to the sofa, and Patrick opened his eyes and sat up. He laughed as David sipped at one tea, then another to discern which one he’d put the sugar in. Because remembering the mug between the kitchen and there was clearly beyond him at this point. It was both slightly disgusting, but also endearing. 

‘Get your sloppy mouth off my tea’ Patrick said with a smile, which David returned, sitting down near, but not quite touching. ‘Thank you.’ he added, aware his voice sounded low and tired. Today was really catching up with him too. 

‘Mmm hmm’ David said, shifting down to the edge of the sofa. He wrapped his hands around his mug, elbows on knees. Patrick watched him, waiting for him to speak. Usually whatever was in David’s mind spilled out faster than anyone- David included- could process. But sometimes, when it mattered he waited. Patrick knew instinctively David was running over it in his mind. He’d confessed previously he often rehearsed things like coffee orders in his head, his anxious mind veering between the no filter, and the need to triple check everything. 

Sometimes he also needed a little help too. Patrick set his tea down, then took David’s from him and did the same. He pulled David towards him so they were half sitting-half-lying on the sofa, David’s head on his chest, hand on his stomach. The weight of him was comforting. Patrick let himself play with David’s hair for a second. Something he knew he could only get away with at bedtime, when the day’s product was losing its hold anyway. He curled his fingers through the slightly curling hair, he always loved it when the natural curl David fought so hard, stubbornly came though. He dropped his arm to David’s shoulder and dropped his head, planting a soft kiss on David’s head, resting his face in his hair for a moment, breathing him in, enjoying the moment of calm in a day filled with exactly the opposite. 

For a moment David let himself relax into it, into Patrick. The steady thud of his heart under his head, the weight of his arm on him. The moment of quiet, if only his mind would join. He felt Patrick’s hand in his hair and had to resist purring like a kitten. He put up a fight on it, but secretly- or not so secretly- he loved it when Patrick played with his hair. The sensation and the emotion behind it both. He’d let a lot of people do a lot of things to his body over the years, some more willingly than others, granted. But Patrick playing with his hair felt like one of the most intimate. He exhaled slowly, willing himself to calm down. Concentrating on Patrick’s breathing under his head, on the gentle sensation of his fingers in his hair. For a moment letting it be. It was fine. It had all gone fine. Even Patrick finding out the full story had gone fine. He burrowed in a little tighter, feeling Patrick squeeze back. Perhaps if they just lay here they could just start over tomorrow. 

‘No. It’s no good, we have to do this.’ he said sitting up, suddenly as if snapped to life. Patrick blinked at him, startled, but let him speak. ‘It’s no bad, I promise love it’s not bad’ he said, ‘But we need to talk about today. For both of us.’

Patrick swallowed and nodded. ‘I know.’ 

David realised he’d been a bit dramatic, but his brain had kicked into overdrive again. He forced himself to slow. Leaning over he picked up Patrick’s tea and handed it back to him, their fingers brushing as he did so. He allowed himself a small smile which Patrick returned. 

David picked up his own tea and blew on it. More for something to do with his hands, himself, than a need for tea. Shifting so he was crossed legged looking at Patrick opposite him. 

‘Are you ok?’ he asked softly. 

Patrick was caught off guard. That wasn’t the question he was expecting. And he found himself unexpectedly touched. ‘Yes.’ he managed, a lump in his throat, ‘Yes.’ he repeated. David’s question fortified me. ‘I have...things I might need to say.’ he said slowly. ‘But we’ll get to that.’ He sipped his tea, to give himself a moment. ‘Are you ok?’ he asked, fixing David in his gaze. 

‘Me? Yes, of course, I didn’t have to come out today, and go to my own not-surprise party, I’m fine.’ David raised his eyebrows over his tea, taking a sip. 

‘David.’ Patrick said, firmly, but without malice. ‘Are you ok?’ 

David shrugged. He didn’t actually have an answer. Not one that made sense. 

‘David’ Patrick said again. ‘I’ve become almost fluent in David Rose but sometimes even I need a little help.’ he took a breath, ‘And I think I’ve made enough mistakes by not thinking things through for one day, so help me out yeah?’ he reached a hand over to David’s knee, the only bit of him he could comfortably reach. And the physical distance between them suddenly felt like a chasm. For one so guarded, and one so unsure where he stood in navigating things, physical affection had early on been their language. Patrick quickly realised David kept that language for him alone, and he’d realised his language of touch was different with David than it had ever been with anyone else. Earlier today, David’s touch had been a constant, and Patrick was more unsettled in this moment than he had been all day suddenly. 

‘David.’ he said in a throaty, desperate tone he hadn’t quite intended. 

David’s eyes widened, clearly catching it in Patrick’s voice and he nodded, swallowing. 

‘Today was weird for me too’ he started. ‘Sorry I don’t want to like take away from anything you, you know, I know today is about you. But you asked and.’

‘I asked David.’ Patrick said, patiently. 

David swallowed. He really was sometimes, infuriatingly good. Even when he’d managed to upset him. He took a second, trying to wrap his head around how to say the things that had been running through his head all day. ‘For, um I guess lots of reasons. But I guess you know that, I mean the main reason. Um.’

Patrick nodded. It was on him to say. Take charge. He exhaled. And held out a hand and was relieved when David took it, the touch reassured him, and he continued. ‘I should have told you my parents didn’t know about us.’ he swallowed ‘No. Fuck it, I should have told them about us. Months ago. I shouldn’t have kept something so important from them, no matter how scared I was.’ He felt David squeeze his hand, slowing him before he got too carried away. He could feel a lump in his throat. ‘But most of all I shouldn’t have kept it from you that they didn’t know. That wasn’t fair.’

‘I would have just wanted to help you know’ David said, not looking at him, looking down at their hands instead. 

Patrick set his tea on the arm of the sofa, and rubbed his face with his free hand. ‘I know, I know. I was stupid.’ 

David still wasn’t looking at him. Patrick squeezed his fingers. But didn’t speak. Letting him think. 

‘I thought you didn’t trust me.’ David said it so quietly, Patrick barely heard it. He hadn’t realised it until he said it, that was what had been eating at him all day. Yes, he’d worried it could all go wrong with Patrick’s parents, yes he was angry that everything had been messed up, but all of that paled in comparison to thinking Patrick didn’t trust him. 

‘Fuck.’ Patrick muttered. For a moment he didn’t know what to do or say. It hadn’t occurred to him either- so blinded by the stress of the day, the worry of his parents. He’d known David was upset, angry even, with him for not telling him. But it hadn’t occurred to him that it looked like he didn’t trust him. He closed his eyes, and shook his head. 

Dropping David’s hand, and pulling himself closer, bridging the gap between them, so his knees bumped David’s, he gently took David’s face in his hands, and just as gently tilted it to look at him. Patrick swallowed as David avoided his gaze. 

‘It’s ok. I understand’ David said in a tone that broke what was left of Patrick’s resolve. He felt hot tears on his cheeks again, but he didn’t move. 

‘David I’m sorry.’ he said ‘I trust you. I trust you with everything.’ He ventured gently to lean in and kiss David, high on the cheek next to where his hand rested. Patrick wasn’t sure whose tears were on his hand now, but he wiped them away anyway. ‘I’m sorry.’ he said again, leaning down and kissing David gently, what was now a very damp, salty kiss. A wave of relief hit him, and spurred more tears, when David kissed him back, ever so gently, as if he was testing himself. Or Patrick. 

David leaned back a bit, not too far, but just enough to take Patrick in. Good, honest Patrick who was wide eyed and broken looking. He nodded. That was enough. It was all he needed. And the thought shocked him, and before he could control it something in him broke and a sob escaped, with tears following. 

‘Hey. hey’ Patrick said gathering him into his arms. David clung to him, arms around his neck, and Patrick could feel him struggling to breathe a bit. He rubbed up and down his back ‘It’s ok. It’s ok. I’m here’ he told him. After a few seconds David let out a shuddering breath and Patrick felt him relax, he held on for a few more breaths, before sitting back. He trailed his hands down Patrick’s arms and rested just above his wrists, holding on lightly. His face didn’t seem to know what to do. Patrick freed one hand and brought it to David’s cheek. He smiled into Patrick’s cupped palm and closed his eyes. 

David swallowed. He had to speak soon or Patrick was going to look so much like a puppy that had been kicked it was going to set him off again. He nodded at Patrick who dropped his hand, but not his gaze. There was no escaping until he spoke. 

‘That. Um. That.’ David gestured, ‘Was relief. And disbelief. And ...I don’t know.’ he took a second, trying to figure it out. ‘Nobody has ever fought for me before...’ he began, hoping that this made sense as he said it out loud. He felt Patrick squeeze his hand again. ‘But nobody has ever made it right after they.’ he paused, ‘However unintentionally’ he qualified ‘Hurt me, either.’ he half smiled at Patrick. ‘You’ve made it right twice for the big things. And like a thousand times for the little things, when I do stupid things.’ he rolled his eyes. 

‘There shouldn’t have been two big things to make right.’ Patrick said, suddenly angry at himself. 

‘No. No.’ David shook his head. ‘That is not your fault. It’s just...life.’ he bit his lip. ‘I told you, that I was damaged goods.’ he began, ‘I think’ he continued before Patrick could interject, ‘That I got blinded by how...infuriatingly perfect you are.’ Patrick’s face screwed up a little at that, ‘That I didn’t...stop to think maybe you were a bit damaged too.’

Patrick dropped David’s hand and rubbed both hands on his face. He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him a bit. David had managed to say the one thing he’d spent so long avoiding thinking. 

‘You’re so confident.’ David said, ‘So easy with everything and everyone. Including me.’ he laughed dryly ‘Especially me’ it was his turn to try and refocus Patrick now, he reached out to Patrick’s shoulder, a familiar easy gesture that suddenly felt loaded. ‘And while I’m busy being this…’ smiled a bit sadly ‘mess’ he gestured with his free hand at himself. ‘And letting you fix it...I think’ he took a breath squeezing Patrick’s shoulder ‘It was easy to miss how damaged you’d gotten. By what you’ve been through.’

There was a moment of silence. David held his breath a little. Worried he’d got it really wrong. Misjudged where Patrick had got to today. Patrick gave him a little nod, and he ploughed on. Patrick wasn’t sure how he knew there was more, but it was David. There usually was. And he wasn’t ready to speak just yet. 

‘There’s a difference between this.’ David gesturing between them, ‘Feeling right. And everything else feeling right.’ 

Patrick frowned at him slightly. Then his eyes got wide as if something was just occurring to him. Taking it as a sign he was on the right track, David continued. ‘It’s one thing to lose yourself in this. This’ he gestured again, ‘Because despite this’ he gestured at himself again ‘has been easy. Easier than anything I’ve ever known anyway’ David said and Patrick chuckled and wiped away a tear. ‘And I think it has for you too. In a different way.’ Patrick nodded and David reached over and wiped one from the other cheek. ‘But you have to make the rest of it feel right too. That’s the tough part.’

Patrick nodded, swallowing. David was right, on all of it. It had been so easy to lose himself in David. In the bubble of happiness they’d created. It had been easy. And while he was concentrating on that, he’d been able to ignore the rest of it. You couldn’t just flip a switch and make it all ok. It didn’t work like that. He’d been keeping the two separate, and that wasn’t working any more. 

‘It seems like it was so easy for you.’ Patrick said, without any malice, or even jealousy. ‘I mean the rest of it.’

David chewed his bottom lip. ‘You never asked how it was for me’ he said softly. Equally without any malice. They’d just avoided the subject. David cursed himself for that now. Perhaps he could have eased the road a bit for Patrick had he brought it up. 

Patrick nodded. He’d avoided the topic entirely actually. Fearing it might lead to...questions. ‘But this morning you said…’ he shrugged. 

‘Not entirely the truth.’ he said with a sad smile. 

Patrick didn’t speak, he waited. Letting David lead. 

‘Alexis, accidentally outed me.’ he said with a smile. ‘Genuinely, accidentally. I had, um, dated a brother and sister and she, well she said the wrong name over dinner.’ Patrick offered him a sympathetic smile. ‘I mean the only surprise really to anyone is that I was dating the daughter at all.’ he tried to laugh but it got a bit caught. He blinked slowly at Patrick ‘I think my parents wish I was just Gay sometimes’ he said and let it hang there. ‘I mean I haven’t made it easy on anyone, them included, and least of all myself’ he smiled a sad half smile this time. 

‘David they love you no matter what. For who you are.’ 

David couldn’t help his smile this time. ‘Didn’t I spend all day telling you that’ Patrick smiled at him. David looked serious again. Silently debating what he was about to say. ‘Sometimes I wish it too.’ he said, breathing deeply. ‘I always felt like it might be easier. To be just one thing. Something people understood. And maybe…’ he looked up, ‘Maybe that’s why I’ve had all the...trouble, I’ve had. Maybe if I was one thing, something people understood, or didn’t think was an excuse for...whatever... I wouldn’t have.’ he chuckled dryly, ‘Though if I’m wishing for the magic sexuality fairy to make me something probably straight is the easier one to wish for. Though maybe less fun.’ he shrugged. 

He expected Patrick to laugh but his face was like stone. ‘Don’t ever say that.’ he said ‘Don’t ever wish you were something else. Someone else.’ 

David put a hand to Patrick’s cheek again. ‘We all do sometimes.’ he said sadly, ‘But I wouldn’t change what it’s got me.’ he screwed up his nose a bit and dropped his hand looking down. ‘You know I’ve never talked to anyone about any of this.’

‘That makes two of us.’ Patrick said, smiling back. David gave him a soft smile. Something in him was relaxing and he reached over for Patrick’s hand again, which he offered, with a gentle squeeze. ‘While we are talking about it.’ Patrick said, suddenly nerves creeping in, he could feel his heart race, and whether David felt it too or it was just a subconscious coincidence, he squeezed his hand. ‘I need to say something, to you.’ 

David nodded, shifting just enough to show Patrick he had his full attention. He waited, patiently, giving him the space. Letting him lead. Patrick fixed his gaze to David’s and tried to breath. 

‘I’m Gay David.’ he said slowly, purposefully. ‘I’m a Gay man, and that’s big and scary to say out loud but I needed to.’

‘Thank you for telling me.’ David said gently. Then added ‘Can I kiss you?’

Patrick’s face crumpled a bit, but he nodded. And David leaned over and kissed him, cupping a hand around his neck. It was a soft and gentle kiss but one filled with reassurance. 

‘I feel stupid.’ Patrick said when they pulled apart ‘Telling my partner that. Telling my partner I’ve told ‘I love you’ to countless times that I’m gay.’

‘I love you’ David said. It felt important to say it then. He’d never said it first. Not in all the times they’d said it. All the times Patrick had actually. Patrick threw his ‘I love yous’ out at regular intervals. From the silly to the serious. David would get an ‘I love you’ albeit sarcastically sometimes, for sweeping the store, or some other chore. Or for agreeing to baseball. He’d get a quiet ‘I love you’ late at night while they watched TV for no reason. He’d get one loudly during sex, or quietly as they lay after. Sometimes Patrick would just look at him and say it for no reason. And David loved him all the more for it. But he was still more careful with his I love yous. Old habits and all. He’d said it five times before today. Now they were up to seven. One day he would get to the point of losing count. But for now he still felt like they all had to count.

‘I love you too.’ Patrick said, kissing him gently. ‘I’ve never said it.’ Patrick said. ‘I mean not even to my parents earlier. Not directly’

‘I know’ David said. ‘I’m glad you could say it to me.’

‘You know’ Patrick said, shifting, and visibly relaxing a bit, into the back of the sofa. ‘I thought about it a lot. Labels I mean. I wasn’t sure. I mean with Rachel and the other girls’

‘Were there really other girls?’ David asked, and the teasing tone made Patrick relax even more, enough to playfully hit David with his own hand, which he was still holding. ‘Oh plenty of other girls’ he said ‘I could have even given you a run for your money in College. Baseball players get chicks.’

‘Well we both know that’s a lie on many fronts.’ David said with a smirk. ‘But given College was a bit of a dry spell for me, you might just win it on the numbers’ 

Patrick smiled at him, and brought his hand up to his lips. ‘But seriously’ he said with a slight sigh ‘I thought I should say I’m bisexual, or pansexual or wahtever, I don’t know out of resepct for them. Or like you.’ 

David kissed his hand too. ‘An admirable role model’ he smiled. ‘But.’ he continued, ‘This is intensely personal. You are the only one you owe respect to.’

Patrick nodded. ‘I get that now.’ he frowned. ‘I’m not sure I did before today. And I still don’t know...if this is how I always was, if I changed...it’s...messy.’ Months of spinning them around his head. Or in the dark reaches of internet searches late at night. ‘I just...didn’t know where I fit in…’ he began, trying his best to articulate it. ‘If I don’t fit what any of it should look like, or act like or...I don’t know still I kept coming back to because I’d been with women, then I couldn’t be gay but…this, us was so right and….’ he exhaled, looking a David with an expression that clearly said ‘help me out here.’

‘You are.’ David said, reaching up and running a hand over the back of Patrick’s head and down his neck. Rubbing his thumb there. 

‘I think so’ Patrick said. ‘I mean is it? Am I? I mean…’

‘If you say you are. You are. That’s all that matters.’ David leaned over and kissed Patrick’s temple, just next to his eye and watched him close them. ‘You are all that matters’ he said in a whisper in Patrick's ear. He saw Patrick swallow hard, and he snaked his arm around him and pulled him into him. Taking full advantage of the small height and size difference to wrap his boyfriend up in him best he could and hold on. He didn’t have an answer, only Patrick could answer that. And he probably already knew the answer. He’d answered it himself a number of times. But it was never as black as white as people liked to think. He held on tight a moment longer before detangling from Patrick’s neck, sitting back against the sofa, Patrick brought his head to rest on David’s shoulder and they sat for a moment while David thought a little more. 

‘You don’t wake up one day one thing or another.’ David said slowly, ‘It’s more a creeping knowledge of who you are.’ he paused. ‘Stevie said something sensible earlier. Shockingly’

‘Really? Because she just yelled at me.’ David shifted and Patrick sat up, ‘Not, like properly, really, she...came and talked to me. She was right. She helped.’ 

David half smiled. While he shouldn’t wish Angry Stevie on Patrick, something in her protectiveness warmed him. ‘As long as she didn’t throw anything.’ he said. Patrick shook his head. David nodded and continued. ‘She said you were lucky, doing this now, rather than as a teenager.’ He felt Patrick’s eyes on him, ‘And she might be right. You know who you are, as a person, you are the straight leg mid range denim wearing, inventory loving, baseball running-’

‘Are these just things you don’t like about me or-’

‘They are things I love about you.’ David smiled sideways at him ‘But that wasn’t the point.’ 

‘The point dear the point!’ Patrick exclaimed with a smile. And David was heartened to feel a bit more of ‘the real’ Patrick coming back again. 

‘You know who you are. So you can be certain of yourself. So when you say you’re Gay, you know it’s the truth. Because you know you. And if anyone dares to question you, then you can say, you are Patrick Brewer and that has not changed, and this is part of you.’

Patrick smiled. ‘You know sometimes, David Rose, you say the nicest things.’ he raised an eyebrow. ‘Sometimes.’ he smiled ‘And you are whoever you say you are David.’ 

David smiled his soft lopsided smile at Patrick, who returned with his own slightly goofy grin. David nodded and stood up, holding his hands out and pulling an exhausted Patrick to his feet. 

A few minutes later they crawled into bed. Both exhausted from the day. Reversing their usual positions, Patrick wordlessly curled himself around David. Intertwining their legs, head on his chest, one hand under his shirt as if he needed the reassurance of skin to skin contact, but clearly too far gone with exhaustion to do anything more. David wrapped his arms around him, already feeling Patrick sinking into sleep on top of him as he settled himself. It was like all the emotion, the energy of the day left him at once. David pulled him close and settled in. He leaned down for a kiss before Patrick totally passed out. 

‘I love you.’ he said without thinking about it. 

‘That’s almost ten’ Patrick muttered before falling asleep on David’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The easy things; Patrick's taste in tea is my own, as a Brit who trained some Canadians how we drink tea in college. I made his College McGill as well just for a neat link in my head (for anyone curious). 
> 
> The Hard things: this was the part of the story I couldn't let go. A lot of messy thoughts from my own head through both of them. I don't have the answers either...and maybe that's ok too. But I know Dan Levy's stories got me a whole lot closer. So that's what this chapter is for. I hope it helps some other people too.


	7. An Old Fashioned Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dust has settled, and Patrick drops in on Johnny to talk.

A few days later Patrick pulled up at the Motel. He parked outside the office, rather than David’s room and pulled out his phone. 

‘I’m early. Chatting to Stevie. No rush. X’

He knew there was no fear of David being early. Sure enough his phone pinged. 

‘Doing my hair. Be there in ten.x’

Patrick smiled. That was 20 then. At least. 

Patrick got out of the car and walked to the office. The bell chimed and Johnny looked up. 

‘Patrick, hello!’ he smiled, ‘Um David’s down in the room I think? And Stevie’s at rehearsal.’

‘Hey Mr. Rose.’ Patrick smiled back, ‘Oh I know, David’s on his way, and I have been given a rare evening off rehearsal while they do something with the girl’s dances.’ he made what was probably an encouraging and slightly terrified face. 

‘Ah yes,’ Johnny said with the wince of a man who had heard far too much about choreography he didn’t understand in the last few weeks. ‘Something about chairs?’

‘I try not to get involved,’ Patrick said with a smile. 

‘Very wise’ Johnny said, shutting the ledger on the counter. 

Patrick took a breath. ‘Actually Mr. Rose I was hoping to talk to you- if you’ve got a second?’ 

‘Oh well sure Patrick.’ he said. ‘Actually I’ve wanted to talk to you too.’

Patrick nodded, frowning slightly. 

‘Oh hold on.’ Johnny said, disappearing into the back office and rummaging around for a moment. He appeared holding a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. ‘Stevie hid this back here for ‘emergencies’ I’m not entirely sure what constitutes an emergency, but I’m sure she won’t mind us having a glass.’ he gestured with the bottle ‘If you’d like.’

‘Sure Mr Rose that would be great.’

‘Ok then.’ Johnny gestured with the bottle walking across the room ‘well, sit, sit’ 

Patrick did as instructed. Perched on the edge of the sofa. Johnny sat at the other end and set out the two glasses and poured a healthy shot. Patrick briefly worried about driving later but figured with the pizza they’d be eating there he’d be fine. If not he could always force David to drive. Johnny handed him a glass. 

‘Well, cheers’ he said clinking his glass against Patrick’s. 

‘Cheers’ Patrick said and took a swig. Then made a face. What it lacked in quality it made up for in strength. 

‘So um, your parents get home ok Patrick?’ Johnny asked, glancing over. 

‘Oh yeah. They stopped off to visit my Aunt on the way but they got home this afternoon actually.’ Patrick said with a smile. 

‘Oh um good, good.’ Johnny nodded, taking another swig. ‘They’re lovely people Patrick. Moria and I we were um, were really pleased to get to meet them.’ 

Patrick nodded. ‘Thanks, they really liked meeting you both too. I’m glad you guys got some time, you know after the party.’ 

Johnny nodded staring into his drink. He really had enjoyed meeting Patrick’s parents. They were charming lovely people who had been far kinder than maybe he deserved. And also far more easy going with his family’s eccentricities than anyone meeting their son’s partner’s family for the first time in such circumstances had any right to be. 

‘Well good. Me too.’ Johnny smiled ‘I promised your Father a round of golf next time. I mean if there is a next time.’

Patrick smiled that big easy smile of his, ‘Oh I’m sure there will be Mr Rose.’ he took a swig of whiskey, ‘Especially if there’s a round of golf involved.’ he was pleased the Roses had got along with his parents so well, on top of everything else the thought that his very normal, very ordinary parents might not have found much to talk about with Moria and Johnny was a worry. But a shared loved of baseball and golf served Clint and Johnny well, and his Mom had just enough interest in soap opera gossip as well as theatrical experience as a piano teacher to entertain and be entertained by Moria for hours. Especially when she’d been able to sit in on his Cabaret rehearsals. 

Johnny nodded. Pleased Patrick seemed so pleased. He was reluctant to rock the boat now everything seemed so good. But he had promised himself he would make it right. ‘Look Patrick, I owe you an apology.’ he began. He felt Patrick shift, and his eyes on him. ‘For what happened with your parents. It was my fault, and-’

‘Really Mr Rose there’s no need’ Patrick interrupted. ‘David explained and it’s fine. Really.’

‘No, no, let me apologize’ Johnny insisted. ‘I’m sorry for assuming your parents knew about you and David, and for speaking out of turn. I made a big mess of things and well.’ he took a drink ‘the last thing I would want to do is risk yours and David’s relationship.’ 

Patrick nodded slowly. Touched by how much Johnny had thought about it. ‘I appreciate the apology I really do Mr Rose. It means a lot.’ he said, taking a drink himself. ‘But it’s not necessary.’ he paused, wondering how much he should say but decided now was the time to lay it all out- maybe for both their sakes. ‘You did me a favor honestly.’ he said ‘Not just with my parents, I mean I needed to tell them. But for me and David too.’ he took another drink. ‘I feel like I need to apologize to you there.’ he confessed. 

‘For what?’ Johnny frowned at him. 

‘For lying to your Son, for upsetting him- for treating him like that when all he has done for me’ Patrick hesitated, his voice catching, ‘It was wrong of me to lie to him. We’ve made it right, but it was wrong of me, and I’m sorry for that- I just, um wanted you to know that too.’

Johnny nodded thoughtfully. ‘I said to David, on your Birthday, that I can’t pretend to understand what you’ve both gone through, you know in coming to terms, or understanding who you both are.’ he glanced over to see Patrick watching him intently, ‘But as a parent, all I cared about was that David was happy. And I extend that same feeling to you too now Patrick. I just want you to be happy.’

Patrick swallowed hard and fixed his gaze straight ahead. He nodded not trusting himself to speak right away. Johnny reached over and rubbed his back. Not in quite the same way as David did but it was enough. Patrick wiped at his eyes. 

‘Sorry.’ he said. ‘I guess I’m still a bit’ he gestured at himself and Johnny chuckled. 

‘You looked just like David then.’ he said topping up Patrick’s glass. 

‘Oh God.’ Patrick laughed feeling the tension break a bit, ‘Please take me aside if I ever start dressing like him’ 

‘Oh he’d never allow it.’ Johnny laughed. ‘Though I might dare you to try it one time just to see the look on his face.’

They both laughed at the image and then lapsed into a comfortable silence for a moment. 

‘I’m glad you’re ok Patrick.’ Johnny said. Looking at his glass. ‘And I’m so glad you and my son found each other.’

Patrick smiled. ‘Me too Mr Rose.’ he exhaled. It was now or never, the reason he’d come here early in the hope of finding Johnny alone. ‘Actually that’s something I wanted to talk to you about.’

‘Oh?’ Johnny shifted to look at Patrick who sat up again and focused on him with what he hoped wasn’t a troubled intensity. 

‘Yes.’ Patrick said. ‘The last few days have, well they’ve solidified a few things for me. A few things I was thinking of but wasn’t sure of. And well, as I’m sure David has told you, once I make up my mind on a thing I act on it. I’m a take-charge kind of guy.’ 

‘From what I understand that’s the only reason you have the store.’ Johnny said. ‘And as a businessman, I admire that.’

‘Good. That’s good.’ Patrick said ‘And I really hope you admire that in a more personal sense too.’ he exhaled. 

‘Patrick?’ Johnny wasn’t entirely following where this was going but it seemed important to Patrick so he waited. 

‘Mr. Rose, I love David, and I’m more certain than ever that he is my future. And I want to make that happen more than anything.’

Johnny’s eyes widened, suddenly realizing where Patrick was going with this.

‘And so’ Patrick continued ‘I wanted you to know that I plan to ask David to marry me.’ Johnny didn’t respond but before he could, Patrick plowed on. ‘I’m an old fashioned guy Mr. Rose, and so with that in mind, I’ve come here today to ask for your blessing on that.’

Patrick didn’t breathe, didn't move, he waited. Johnny broke into a huge grin. ‘Well, I think that’s just wonderful. Just wonderful news Patrick.’ he saw Patrick looking still expectantly and realized he was waiting on an answer ‘Of course, of course, you have my blessing.’

Patrick broke into a relieved grin. ‘Thank you.’ He said, extending a hand. Johnny wanted to hug him, but Patrick seemed to need the formality of the handshake so he complied. Wrapping both hands around Patrick’s and grinning. While Patrick did too. 

They sat back and finished their drinks. Johnny smiling to himself, Patrick doing the same. 

‘Do you, um know when?’ Johnny asked. 

‘I was thinking this weekend actually.’ Patrick said. ‘I know that seems sudden, but I don’t know I just want...that part of my life to start, you know? Now that it’s all out in the open. And why wait?’

Johnny smiled. ‘Do you know how long I waited to ask Moira to marry me?’

Patrick shook his head, David had never told him anything much about his parent's life before. 

‘Six weeks.’ Johnny said. 

‘Six weeks, wow.’ Patrick said. 

‘And nearly forty years later, here we are.’ Johnny smiled. ‘I’m an old fashioned guy too Patrick, and when you know. You know.

Patrick smiled and was about to respond when David burst in the door. He glanced over at his Dad. 

‘You’re not Stevie.’ David said. 

‘Stevie is at rehearsal.’ Patrick said with a smile. ‘So I was just chatting with your Dad.’

David raised an eyebrow ‘And drinking.’

‘Need to do something to pass the time while you do your hair, David.’ 

‘I’m sorry if achieving the level of grooming you’re used to takes time.’ 

‘And a lot of hair gel.’

David screwed up his nose. ‘Gel? Ew.’ he put a hand on his hip ‘Has curating the grooming stock in the store taught you nothing at all?’

Patrick got up, rubbing his hands on his jeans absentmindedly. ‘Not a thing David.’ 

Johnny chuckled to himself, enjoying their bickering, the ease of their back and fore was both hilarious and charming. And he knew that David allowing Patrick’s teasing was a sign of his ease with him. Patrick leaned over and kissed David’s cheek, appeasing him, and assuring him it was only teasing and David half-smiled. Then narrowed his eyes at his Dad. 

‘What’s so amusing.’ he said.

‘Oh, nothing.’ Johnny said getting up and clearing the glasses, ‘Just you two.’ He heard David huff behind him as he eased himself up and cleared the glasses away. ‘Anyway, what exciting plans do you have tonight?’

‘Romcom double bill at the drive-in’ Patrick said getting up and going to David, who leaned down and kissed his cheek. Patrick wrapped an arm around his waist and squeezed, ‘We are continuing my education apparently.’ 

‘Well that sounds charming I’m sure. Maybe David can pick up some romance tips.’ 

David huffed again. ‘I am perfectly romantic. I'll have you know. I learned from the best.’

‘Oh well thank you.’ Johnny said, puffing out a little with pride. 

‘Ew not you.’ David said. ‘Hugh Grant.’

Patrick and Johnny rolled their eyes simultaneously. ‘Anyway.’ David continued, ‘This is an act of romantic compromise, as someone is forcing me to go on a hike this weekend.’

‘This weekend huh?’ Johnny said leaning back on the counter and folding his arms. ‘Well, that’ll be nice Patrick, romantic even.’

‘Bugs are not romantic’ David huffed. ‘But it was a compromise’ 

Patrick blushed a little and looked at the floor. ‘Anyway David, we don’t want to be late. And I’m sure you’ve got things to do Mr. Rose.’ 

‘I am a free agent this evening. Until I walk Moria home from rehearsal.’

‘You, uh hear that David, your Dad walks into town to walk your Mom home from rehearsals. Isn’t that, romantic? Caring? A nice thing to do.’

Johnny smiled sensing this was part of a longer, well-worn debate. 

‘I bet he also doesn’t ask her to pick him up a pizza on the way home.’ 

‘We are going to be late.’ David said turning to the door ‘And that reminds me, we should stop and get Pizza.’ 

‘Have fun.’ Johnny said as David opened the door. Patrick hesitated and turned back. 

‘Good talking with you Mr Rose.’ Patrick said.

Johnny smiled ‘Johnny please Patrick I think by now.’ Patrick nodded then, on impulse took a couple of steps towards Johnny and hugged him. Slightly taken aback for a second, he hugged Patrick back. It was quick and Patrick strode past David and out into the sunlight leaving David glancing between them as Johnny smiled slightly. 

‘Ok.’ David said. ‘Bye...Dad?’ and followed Patrick outside. ‘You’re hugging my Dad. Again?’

‘I hugged your Dad David.’ Patrick said with a smirk. ‘We hug now. It’s a thing.’

‘I am very unnerved by this.’ 

‘You’re just jealous.’ 

‘Of your awkward hugging my Dad?’

‘Would we call it awkward?’

‘Yes, very in fact. For me.’ 

‘Come here let me awkward hug you.’ 

‘No.’

‘Yes.’ 

Without thinking about anyone around Patrick lunged at David, and awkwardly hugged him around his waist. He protested a moment longer, then allowed it. 

‘We’re going to be late.’

‘What are we seeing again?’ Patrick said into his sweater. 

‘Pretty Woman.’

‘Fabulous!’ Patrick exclaimed, extracting himself. David made a face. ‘I can’t pull that off can I?’ Patrick said. 

‘Not one bit.’ David said, his mouth quirked up, ‘Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you should you know.’

‘I think I’ll stick to baseball’ Patrick said opening the car. 

‘Probably for the best.’ David said getting in. 

He spotted his parents standing together at the doorway watching them. Patrick awkwardly waved. David stuck his head out the window ‘Are you watching us? He said as Patrick put the car in gear. 

‘Young love’ Johnny said to Moira, waving ‘Remember that?’

‘Oh I do.’ Moria said with a smile ‘But just think about all they have ahead of them.’

They watched Patrick pause in pulling away to lean over and kiss David, laughing at something he’d said. Johnny put an arm around Moria. ‘He’s finally happy.’ he said with a slight hitch in his voice. ‘I was always so worried.’ he confessed. 

‘I know dear, me too.’ Moira said with a soft smile. 

‘Come on Moria, let me drive you to rehearsal’ Johnny said. 

‘Oh why don’t we walk instead’ Moria said. 'You can sit in if you like, see the latest choreography' 

'I can't wait.' he said. Johnny offered a hand and she took it, and he leaned in and kissed her cheek before steering them off in the direction of town. 

In the car Patrick caught David smiling looking at his parents as they drove out of the motel car park. 

‘They’re good people David.’ he said softly. ‘We both got lucky there.’ 

‘Hmm. Especially as you and my Dad are hug buddies now.’ David quipped, smiling now at Patrick. 

‘Come on, don't drive like an old lady, we’ll be late for the movie.’ David said squeezing Patrick’s hand. ‘And if you’re forcing me to hike this weekend, you aren’t missing a second of Julia Roberts.’

Patrick rolled his eyes and smiled. This was finally the easy part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little coda for all the thoughts I had on this episode. I could write Johnny for days, but he also felt like he needed a resolution here too. 
> 
> Thanks for reading this slightly epic post episode story. This episode did a number on me like nothing else, and I needed to get some of it out of my head...I hope it was useful for some other people too.

**Author's Note:**

> This episode hit me like nothing else. And I couldn't rest until I used these two to work through a lot of thoughts in my head. While filling in some blanks.


End file.
